Things I hate.

A little housecleaning before I get started. I began writing this post about a month ago, but for many varying reasons, I didn't finish it. But rest assured, just because it was started a month ago, that doesn't mean my hate is any less severe in this case. I will now begin.

Today I decided to take a page out of the apparently on-hiatus Fun Hater blog and discuss things that chap my hide. We all have these things in life that push our buttons, so I thought I'd vent a little and discuss one of them.

Let me just come right out and say this unequivocally, so there will be no confusion. I hate cable companies with a passion, and right now my vitriol is aimed squarely at Time Warner Cable. I know this is not a new topic, and I am definitely not alone in my anger and frustrations, but I thought, "What the hell, I'm going to rant anyway."

We moved into our new apartment on June 22. Time Warner was scheduled to come on Monday the 23rd to install the cable. Before the guy even came over, we noticed that there was only one cable outlet in the entire place, and by the way, it was located in a ridiculous location. There was no cable in the bedrooms, and there wasn't a cable outlet where the TV should go. This prompted me to ask the question, "did the last people not have cable, or did they have their TV in this lame spot so when someone comes up the stairs, they immediately happen upon the TV?" (No one was there to answer my inquiry).

So the guy comes over as scheduled, and when I show him our solitary cable outlet, he laughs and agrees that it's ridiculous. He takes a look around, and realizes that there are no "external" cables to hook into (whatever that means), so we'll need to drill holes. "Great," I said, "go right ahead." Well, we would need permission to drill holes from the owner, he informs us. That's awesome. So he manages to at least hook up our cable through the lame outlet, so we have a computer working with the Internet, as well as a cable stretching across our entire family room to our TV. A fantastic permanent solution, in my opinion. Maybe I'll invite a few elderly people over so they can trip on it and fall forehead first into our coffee table. Obviously, something had to be done. In essence we had to get the written permission, then make an appointment so they could come back and drill the holes so they could install the cable. Fine I say, whatever.

So I tried contacting our our property manager the next day to inform her of our dilemma, since we have no direct contact with the owner. It only took about five or so days for her to get back to me, and what does she do? She refers me to the Home Owners Association, and we all know what treat it can be to deal with them. The HOA says that unless it's a common or outside wall, we don't need to talk to them, just the owner of our unit. That's exactly what I tried to do in the first place when our genius manager led us astray to the HOA. Another hoop to jump through. So, back to emailing my property manager. It of course took a couple days to hear from her, but finally, I got the permission in the form of an email, that yes, we could indeed have some holes drilled in our walls. Next up was just to schedule an appointment with Time Warner, so I call them. The date was Monday, July 7th, and the earliest that they could come was Sunday, July 13th. Fine I say, just come and get it done. I explained what needed to be done, the situation, etc, and hung up, thinking that on Sunday, we would finally have cable in our bedroom.

Ha, that's a good one. I'm a real comedian.

What happened, you ask. Well, our guy shows up on Sunday, and asks what we need done. So I explain it to him, and he replies, "I can't do anything for you, you need a technician to come drill the holes."

I was speechless. But I attempted to communicate with him anyway. I know I need a technician, that's who you are suppose to be. He tells us that he is just here to check things out and make sure that the technician is needed. Apparently the technician is incredibly important, and we can't waste his precious time. But what I couldn't understand is why the technician didn't come out in the first place? We already had a guy come out and establish the need for a technician. I tried to explain this to him, but he said that it was necessary for him to come and see things first. He wouldn't admit that it was a mistake and that he was just wasting my time. So he called home base to make an appointment for a technician. I requested that they come at night, since we have to work during the day. But, of course, the technicians don't work at night or on the weekends, they're too good for that. The first available appointment would be on Thursday, July 24th. Awesome, that is a week and a half away, and I'd have to stay home from work for half a day. Oh, and by the way, they say it'll cost like 100 bucks for the technician to come out and drill the holes. Sweet, that is great news. Thanks, Time Warner.

So, finally, the day arrived for the guy to come and install the cable. I worked from home that day, and he came and did the cable. It went off without a hitch, no big deal. After being in our house for more than a month, we finally have cable in our bedroom, in addition to getting rid of the coax cable stretching across our family room. It was about damn time. I can watch Letterman, Conan, Kimmel and SportsCenter again at night while going to bed.

So today, August 30, we got our cable bill. And, not only did they charge us $100. but they accidentally charged us $200! Yeah! So now, on Monday, I will call and try and complain my way out of that bill. But I'm sure that I will fail in getting the fee waived. Calling Time Warmer is an amazing experience. Every time I call them, it goes something like this: Someone will answer after about 10 minutes of waiting, and I'll explain my problems to them. Then, they'll say I need to talk to so and so, and transfer me to them. Then I have to explain it all again, and I get nowhere. This usually happens two or three times per phone call. It's very taxing. An endless cycle. And it sucks.

I'm not a good complainer, tt never works for me. At least not to the people who can get things done. I'm a great complainer to the wife or friends. I'll bitch and moan to people all day, but when it comes to the person I'm complaining about, I just accept no for an answer and that is that. I'm all talk.

Maybe I have to be a bigger asshole on the phone to get things done. It makes me think of my dad. He was the best at setting the record straight, and getting things done—HIS way! He didn't care how big of a dick he had to be, he would just do it, and not think twice. I don't think he every paid full price for a car, TV or anything else. This came in handy sometimes, but other times, like when we were all out eating at a restaurant, it could be extremely embarrassing. Now, I inherited many qualities from my dad, like having feet that get so hot during the night that I have to stick them out of the covers, or being able to pick up anything up to 10 lbs with my toes, among other things.

However, this ability to just stand up to these people and get things my way is not one of the things that I got from him. My sister got it, believe you me, but I didn't. Sometimes I wish I could tap into that power, like when buying a car or in this case, talking to the douche bags at Time Warner. I think I'd save a lot of money, and get a lot more done. But, alas, that's not me.

So, what do I do? I complain about it to you guys, or the wife, or whoever will listen. But certainly not to the j-holes causing me stress and heartache. But maybe this time will be different. Maybe, just maybe I'll tap into the John Sr. inside of me and talk my way out of this cable bill.

Wish me luck, and thanks for listening.

Now I'm going to go watch TV, in my bedroom! Finally.

This is Dre

1. She is way cool.
2. She is my friend
3. She is single.
4. She likes to touch bums.

Watch out for her.